Top 10 reasons why I am a good mommy

I have been dealing with a heavy dose of the mommy guilt lately. I put him in the swing instead of rocking him to sleep - guilt. I have to give him a bottle of formula at night because I screwed up my milk supply - guilt. I have to go back to work in 20 days - GUILT GUILT GUILT!

So, to try and make myself feel better I am going to write 10 reasons why I am a good mommy and focus on these, not the stupid negative guilt things. Here goes...

10. I always make sure Gage is properly bundled up for the weather. He usually has on maybe a layer too many, but he will not be the baby outside in the freezing cold wearing only a long-sleeve onesie (my mom saw that).

9. Even when I am sad or tearful, I always smile and act positive toward Gage. Maybe it's an act sometimes, but I never want him to think mommy is upset because of him. Stupid post partum hormones... you may leave now.

8. I sing to Gage every day. Whether its 'Twinkle Twinkle' or Bob Marley, we never have a day without music. Thankfully he is ok with my voice (as Randy would say "You're a little pitchy dawg").

7. I make sure to have a loving relationship with Shaun. The husbands need time too and by having the occasional date night or cuddle time, I am giving Gage parents who have a heathy, happy relationship. I want him to grow up seeing his parents in love.

6. I talk to Gage like he completely understands me. We have intense conversations. And I try (try is the keyword) to use minimal baby talk.

5. I always remember his medicine.

4. We play. I know that seems like a no-brainer, but playing with a 2 1/2 month old is tough. We talk with Mr. Whale, we shake a rattle, we dance around the kitchen. Seems boring to some, but to Gage it's everything.

3. I stuck with breastfeeding through the pain, bleeding, and frustration. I didn't give up and still haven't quit. I am giving him the best start possibly even though it hurt like you wouldn't believe and even though I will never look right in a two-piece again.

2. I stay flexible. Yes, it isn't ideal that he now has to have a formula bottle to fill up his ever increasing appetite. (The kid is a porker.) Do I like the fact that he is eating something not made by my body? Nope. Do I deal with it because it is what is best for him? Of course. He needs more than I can currently give him, so for now, this is what we do.

1. Top reason why I am a good mommy to Gage - I love this little boy more than anything in my entire life. I love him more than I ever thought possible. For the first time in my life, I truly understand unconditional love. I would die for him. Even though I have to work part time, and even though I can't physically hold him 24/7, I would do anything in the whole world to keep him safe, healthy, happy, and feeling loved. I think that makes for a pretty good mom.

A little something...

Here is the pumpkin on his first Christmas! He slept for most of it, but we finally got a slight smile caught on film!

Let's Play Catch Up!

Sorry I have been MIA for a little while. I actually put together a Christmas post and had my laptop die on me. So unless I can find it saved somewhere on here, I will have to rewrite it at a later date. Better late than never right?

So here are some of the events in our household this week.

1. Shaun is back to work after 2 weeks off. It feels so lonely in the house now, especially during the mornings when we all used to cuddle in bed together. He is the best at getting Gage to sleep, but now I am trying (keyword - trying) to cover that duty. I miss him so much when he is at work and I know he misses us tons. So me and Gage send pics and videos and count down until 3 o'clock when we hear Daddy's key in the door. Why cant America be like Bosnia and give men and women 14 months paid maternity and paternity leave. Sigh... God only knows how hard it will be when I go back.

2. I started my New Years Challenge (I hate resolutions) of getting back into some semblance of good shape. Having a baby destroys your body and mine isnt immune to the changes. I know it will always be a little different, and I have the stretchies to prove it, but I want to feel slightly better about myself when I look in the mirror. I know I am not obese by any means, but I am short, and an extra 15 lbs is alot on my frame. So I have started the hell that is the 30 day shed by Jillian Michaels. She is the trainer from 'The Biggest Loser' and she doesn't mess around. It's only 20 minutes of working out every night, but man, you know you exercised! I am also eating much better, and being more mindful of the calories. The biggest change I made food-wise has been cutting out drinks with calories and adding more protein. I cant diet too much, because I dont want to mess with my milk supply. Gage wouldn't appreciate that too much.

3. Speaking of Mr. Gage, I think we have an early teether. Dun Dun Duuun (scary music). He is a drooly, whiney, overtired little mess lately, especially in the evenings. And my wonderful 6-7 hour stretches at night have disappeared. It's like having a newborn back, waking up every 3 hours to eat. I just keep telling myself that this too shall pass. The Zantac has made him a different baby lately. He has so many more smiles and coos and less and less projectile vomit (always a good thing). I would probably be pretty cranky if something was slicing through my gum too.

So on that note, I am off to freeze the teethers that I didnt expect to see for a couple more months. These babies - just when you get them figured out, they go and change the game.